So, I'm thinking about found text. Here's a little court dialogue that was amusing me while I was trying to finish up all my classes. Probably why I got a C+ on my research paper.
Q. Has this ever happened to you?
Q. Have you ever consulted a doctor about this?
A. About my inability to get the egg into the frying pan fast enough? No.
Q. Have you taken any actions to correct your behavior to prevent further overheating of cooking oils or fats?
A. I don't turn the pan up as high.
Q. When did you decide you would like to start taking corrective action?
A. About burning the butter?
Q. Yes, in your cooking habits.
A. I didn't decide to take corrective action.
Q. Do you own a bird?