Tuesday, March 27, 2007

All Our Days

And what, my dear, are you thinking of on this fine spring day? Sex. It’s everywhere and nowhere. Don’t be alarmed. All my classes touch sex in one way or another, usually peripherally, afraid to dive in. Sometimes I wonder if we’re going to be hashing out sex until the very end of the earth. I guess that will give us something to do all our days.

Anyway, we’re pulling apart Tess in one of my classes, wondering about the inside and outside biological nature of sex for women and men and how that translates into larger issues, such as how women and men view themselves and their relationships (sexual or no) with others. Sex, for women, is ultimately an inside experience, but for men, sex happens on the outside. Feel free to chime in and disagree. Or just quietly close this page. I’m not going down a hyper feminist path here. I’m just trying to articulate a few things, straighten them out in my own brain. I can’t help myself. Blame spring.

4 comments:

Jesus said...

I agree with the whole "inside" "outside" thing. For men it seems to be external triggers and for women it's an emotional state. Also, just look at our morphology- because of the way we're built it's easy to make those kinds of connections.

I wonder if it has always been like this for men and women. I don't see cave men getting cave women in the mood. I think society has taken a natural act and loaded it with social conventions. Sex is now an industry, an illness, a rite of passage, etc.

I can't think of any other animals on the planet having sex issues, sure they're picky and can have complicated courting practices, but I don't think they suffer from overthinking, overfeeling, or overusing sex (chimps are notorious sex fiends however).

So why are we the way that we are? I dunno. Maybe it's to foster communication, or nature trying to control the population. Who knows?

This subject has really got me thinking- maybe I'll have somthing completely different to say tomorrow.

Charmi said...

Yes. It has me thinking, too. And my thoughts are in flux. Everyone got very quiet in class for awhile... And then a few people said some things. I started the conversation over the weekend with the Finn. He always shudders when I start thinking, but eventually he comes around.

But as far as the emotional thing, I wonder. I think (some) sex has emotional connotations for men. But which sex is that? Not casual sex, for sure. That appears to be just biological and soooo outside, maybe tending toward the animal side of things. I worry, though, that emotional sex is tied up in ideas of property and people owning one another, that sort of thing.

Like you, I'll probably be thinking something different tomorrow. But now I'm thinking that where I'm going with my fiction writing is likely to address these thoughts. Poetry might touch on it, but poetry is so personal that talking about sex is hard to do. I know whenever I try to write anything about my relationship with the Finn people feel like the poetry is too thin and the people are missing.

Jennifer said...

Yes we're all twitterpated. But seriously, the article in the paper about the woman who coined the term G-spot is sick of men worrying about it. I agree. She said to start with a woman's brain. Again, I agree. Talk to me, butter me up, compliment me, make me feel special, because my brain controls the chemicals that make the "spot" want to be acknowledged.

Charmi said...

Well, yeah, I think all sex starts on the inside of the body, the brain, the hormones... But I'm thinking about where sex ends up. After the act is over, where do men and women store it or not store it? Biologically, women take something of men and keep it inside themselves. Part of the man is actually incorporated into the woman. That biological thing doesn't happen for men. So my question is, does the biological process translate into a psychological metaphor? Do men ever feel women inside themselves or do they think of themselves as just explorers, penetrators, but impenetrable?

Now you can see why the Finn shudders when I think. I should probably give up the sex thoughts and just get back to gardening, maple sugaring...