What Tom is Learning at WMU

I like a little report when Tom gets home from school. "So, son, what new and exciting things have you learned this semester?" This is what he said: Kegel exercises for men. I'm glad our money isn't being wasted. I never knew.

One More Room

Maybe it's the weather. Maybe it's the fullness of the house with everyone home. I'm dreaming my big house dream again. The dream house keeps opening, room after room after room.

A 50 Percent Chance of Texas Today

Q. And did you fully recover from your injuries in the 1992 cow accident?
A. Yes.

*

Q. And how did he attack you?
A. From behind, with a tape measure.

Not That

Yesterday I succumbed to peer pressure and joined Facebook. I'm not proud, but there it is. This morning I have a Facebook hangover. Or maybe it feels a bit like when I started using a cell phone. I knew I had to do it, but the looming possibility of wasting enormous amounts of time hung over me like an overused metaphor. In one day I picked up 23 friends. My son, Tom, has 329 friends! He doesn't even know 329 people.

Anyway, the long and short of it is, you can join me there, but I'm only going to check it in the morning. Facebook seems like the perfect way to avoid writing, and let's face it, kids, I'm not a spring chicken. I don't have tons of time to waste not writing.

Counter

Darling, Clementine.

Primary Colors

Tom has a new band, Primary Colors. Their first CD is called "Live Amuteurs."

You can download free songs here:

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

The Christmas Song

I See

Q. All right. I see here today that you're wearing glasses?
A. Uh-huh.
Q. Were you wearing those at the time of the accident?
A. Yes, I was.
Q. Do you have to wear those glasses every day?
A. Yes.
Q. What are those glasses for?
A. Seeing.

Living With It

Winter has moved in, with an amazing amount of luggage. Jeez.

A. Fill the wood rack. Shovel snow. Lug buckets of water to the humidifiers. Shovel snow. Knock the cats off the counter. Shovel snow. Bake monster cookies with friends. Mmmm. Shovel snow. Sample beer and monster cookies with friends (taking care not to bite friends.) Mmmm. Shovel snow.

B. Study for final exams? Write 12-page papers? Glare menacingly at my family when they speak above a whisper? Of course not. Naa-naa-naa-naa-boo-boo I'm done!

C. Blog? Well, maybe.

D. Write? (see A.)

E. Attend readings? Of course (taking care not to bite friends.)

And you?

Dreamscape

I dreamed last night that Gene and I had another baby, easy delivery, right at home, in our own bed. Then the first thing this baby did was learn to use the cell phone. I'm not sure what my subconscious is trying to tell me, but whatever it is, it doesn't seem good. Perhaps I need to check online to see my real children's cell phone usage this month.

FGWC

I guess we need to plan something. How does next week sound? I need some help here. Does anyone have a day or place in mind? My mind is comfuzzled. I don't know what to do.