Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Open-Faced

What wonderful variety

Knife-and-fork good-traveler
Day-old dainty hollowed out
Shallow half island divan

Fill with any Danish blue
Barbecue mosaic plus deviled
French checkerboard build

Every other row dog-ear
Slices lavish ooze tuck under
Crumbled heap peach nest

Each split pitcher crisp
Celery hearts hot with bottled
Cold with thin sweet spears

4 comments:

Mark said...

Charmi, I like this one a lot--my personal favorites are the phrases "Crumbled heap peach nest" and "thin sweet spears". Actually the entirety of those last two lines, taken together. The piece evokes summer for me, very strongly.

As for suggestions... hmm... I am debating whether the first & second stanza after the opening line should be swapped, or if they work better as they are... no, I'm thinking leave 'em in that order. It's a good build-up to the "Danish blue" line. :)

So, I'm going to look through your blog now and see if I'm missing any obvious events... it's really been forever, hasn't it? I'm not even sure who's still around.

I'm still writing, though. Semper fi & all that jazz.

Charmi said...

Thanks, Mark. I'm trying a little something new.

And yes, saying nice things about my poems will get you everywhere :-)

How about a workshop on the 23rd? Or you tell me.

Mark said...

23rd is a Saturday--yeah, that would totally work. At Chicory, mayhap?

Charmi said...

Yes, that will work. I'll send out the announcement later today.